Fireworks, barbeques, and the start of summer. Memorial Day Weekend is right around the corner and with it a whole slew of music festivals. How are you going to choose? Let the patented MFW Robotronic 6000 with its state of the art decision making capability pick the right one based an an amazingly narrow subset of your personality. Engage.
Location: Pryor, Oklahoma
Why You’ll Enjoy It: You mourn the end of the eighties and metal hair bands. Your idea of the perfect festival is beer, chicks in bikinis, and hard rock.
Headliners: Motley Crue, Staind, Whitesnake, Seether, Papa Roach
Festival: Summer Camp
Location: Chillicothe, IL
Why You’ll Enjoy It: You dance with your shoes off and sleep under the stars. Summer Camp features all the the household jam bands that you listen to while getting high…on life…and weed.
Headliners: moe., Umphrey’s McGee, STS9, Bela Fleck, EOTO, Lotus
THE INDIE HIP-HOPPER
Location: Shakopee, Minnesota
Why You’ll Enjoy It: You’re tired of explaining to your dad that hip-hop can be intelligent and thought-provoking poetry. Spend the weekend catching all the artists that are uncommon on other festival lineups.
Headliners: Atmosphere, Big Boi, De La Soul
THE INTERNATIONAL TRAVELER
Festival: Primavera Sound
Location: Barcelona, Spain
Why You’ll Enjoy It: The lineup is as eclectic as your tastes in music. Plus it gives ample opportunity to casually mention drop in conversation: “Oh yeah, I saw those guys too…in Spain.”
Headliners: Animal Collective, Belle & Sebastian, Fleet Foxes, Interpol, The Walkmen, The Flaming Lips
Location: Detroit, MI
Why You’ll Enjoy It: For over a decade, Hart Plaza has hosted some of the most influential electronic acts in the world. Five stages are sure to get you moving.
Headliners: Fatboy Slim, Skrillex, Felix Da Housecat, Adam Beyer
THE FESTIVAL JUNKIE
Location: The Gorge, Washington
Why You’ll Enjoy It: Arguably the best festival of the weekend, if not the year, Sasquatch continually over-delivers every spring. Of course, you already bought tickets because you knew it would sell out quickly which it did.
Headliners: Foo Fighters, Death Cab for Cutie, Modest Mouse, Wilco, The Decemberists
Location: Cumberland, MD
Why You’ll Enjoy It: Because Del McCoury, the bluegrass legend, started his own festival. Camping, bluegrass, and
Headliners: The Del McCoury Band, Old Crow Medicine Show, Yonder Mountain String Band, Warren Haynes